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"It fell out in Lima!"

Today is one of those days where I wish I could be a reporter if only to be able to write a headline like the one on this article.

Comments

Then what you want to be is an editor. Unless it's lowly intarweb reporting like I do, reporters rarely if ever write their own headlines. Editing is a joyless task -- I suspect writing heds is one of their few creative joys in life.

The secret to a really good headline is alliteration, though:

COURT CUFFS SIZEMORE FOR COUNTERFEIT COCK

or

TOM FAILS PHYSICAL WITH FAKE PHALLUS

or

PROSTHETIC PENIS, PRETEND PEE PUT SIZEMORE IN POKEY

I really need some new hobbies.

There's a joke in all of this someplace about Sizemore/more size, but mercifully, I can't think of it right now.

When I worked at Dow Jones Reuters as an online journalist, I never had the opportunity to write copy such as this!