Canada is weird
I was chatting online with Corey earlier today and he mentioned that he was in a Starbuck's cafe, near a bookstore called "Chapters". You see, Corey is Canadian.
One of the things that always strikes me about Canada is that it's like the US, only slightly different in ways that make it seem more like an alternate-reality version of the US. A perfect example is their use of the metric system. While it's easy to realize that everything is metric there, it's still jarring to see the road signs. That feeling of odd was reinforced today when Corey mentioned Chapters. I immediately got the sense that in this Bizarro World, all Barnes and Nobles/Borders bookstores ceased to exist and were replaced with Chapters. It's quite a humbling sensation.
Canadians also have alternate-reality candies, like Smarties. For whatever reason, these aren't available in the US, even though the Nestle corporation sees fit to ship most of their stuff here. I think this is mainly to reinforce the fact that Canada is, in fact, "different."
It makes me wonder about all the bizarro things in Canada of which I'm unaware. Is Burger King called something different, like Burger Prince? Do they have different flavors of Pepsi that are beyond my ken? My mind boggles at the possibilities.
Comments
And sadly, we Americans must shoulder the blame for turning Canadian crap like Celine Dion into multimillionaires.
What I want to know is this: Why do Canadians only export the *shitty* Canadian beers? I don't know a single Canadian who drinks Molson Canadian or Labatt's Blue.
Posted by: Peter Cohen | August 6, 2003 09:56 AM
A couple comments on what you said, Pete:
It's actually Canadians who have turned crap like Celine Dion into multimillionaires. See, in Canada we used to (and might still) have a rule about Canadian content on the radio: 50% of everything on the radio in Canada had to be FROM Canada. That's how Celine, Brian and other useless bags of air managed to make their mortgage payments. By the time Celine was singing that gay Titanic song she was already a basquillionaire. As for the beer... I've heard Pabst Blue Ribbon is no delicacy, either. Not that I'd know.
Posted by: Corey Tamas | August 6, 2003 11:00 AM
Having lived in Toronto and Montreal, I can assure you that if you think Canada is an alternate-reality version of the the US, you haven't come to Dallas, Texas, which is more like the US in a mushroom high - plain surreal, IMO.
One a special note to Corey, the cops in Texas don't look scary. :)
Posted by: F. C. Covett | August 6, 2003 11:46 AM
Corey:
That reminds me, I finally killed the two O'Douls you'd left in the fridge following your family trip down to the Cape. Lord help me, but near-beer -- at least that near-beer -- ain't crap.
None of the horrible digestive things that usually happen to me after drinking a couple of beers happened with those. Which leaves me figuring I'm either totally intolerant of alcohol, or that the de-buzzing process that O'Douls uses pulls something *else* out too.
Posted by: Peter Cohen | August 6, 2003 01:24 PM
To F.C.:
The cops in Dallas are scary. I dunno who you're trying to fool... But you're right, Dallas is surreal. More to the point, Dallas sucks ass. Stupid bible belt dry counties where you have to "join a club" in order to drink at normal restaurants. What kind of crap is that?! Houston is just a big parking lot. Basically, ya just can't win with Tex-ass.
Well, other than the fact that I met my super cool and loveable husband, Brad, there! That was a sure WIN situation! =)
As for this whole Canada thing... I've had some of the best cider ever up there. Too bad they can't export some of that!!
Cheers!
Posted by: lyssa | August 6, 2003 03:07 PM
Let me tell you something about O'Doul's... that is one of the ONLY non-alcoholic beers out there worth tasting. The only other one worth your time is a non-alc beer by Guiness that is *really* nice. Can't get it in Canada, which is one of the reasons I concede that the USA has its good points.
Posted by: Corey Tamas | August 6, 2003 03:15 PM
It's pretty obvious, isn't it? We keep all the good beer to ourselves! Anytime you guys make it up to Vancouver, drop me an email, I'll make sure you get ample taste of all the good stuff we have to offer.
Another good thing about Canada - at least we don't have action figures running for governor.
Posted by: Jean-Luc Dinsdale | August 20, 2003 10:54 AM