The Brad Hole

Like most people, I get a ton of spam. I have a filter through the almighty pobox.com which is indispensable. It flags e-mail with an altered subject line if it thinks it is spam, and I've got Microsoft Entourage set up to shunt all those e-mails into a junk folder. This catches literally 95% of my spam, and I periodically check out the junk to make sure no false positives sneak in.

I'm used to seeing spam for larger penises, naked women, college diplomas, X10 camera systems, EZ loans and mortgages and of course, my friend in Nigeria who wants to send me a billion dollars if I'll only give him access to my personal bank account.

Today I saw a unique variation on the "large penis" type of e-mail. Instead of offering the secret of being like John Holmes, it claimed something else entirely: "larger nuts."

Now I don't know about other guys, but this is clearly a case where size is not desirable, at least in my book. The last thing I need to do is increase in size the part of my body that is most sensitive to pain. Plus, I have to wonder if having all that extra dangling baggage would cause me to start walking like a bow-legged cowboy. That may be acceptable in Texas, but not here.